Have you ever felt like you were walking around in a fog? Like you were just in this rut and you couldn’t figure out why? Everything in your life made you happy. Great husband, big house, beautiful children, awesome job = perfect life. Right?
Recently, I have felt totally unmotivated. Maybe it had something to do with taking that nice long break over the holidays. But, getting back into the swing of things, felt harder than normal. My husband was getting concerned because as sarcastic and serious as I can be at work, at home, I’m the positive one. So, for me to seemingly start having a downer outlook, it was becoming worrisome for him.
After reassuring him it was probably nothing. That I simply had to do some soul searching to find some new goals, he seemed to nod in agreement, while not totally believe me.
Knowing you need a change but also needing to be the stable force. It can cause an immense inner battle. I recently watched a TEDx talk shared on Facebook by a friend and it really hit home for me.
I finally had it all. Everyday I wake up in my big house next to the love of my life. I get ready for work and grab a bite to eat. After getting the kids ready, I take the same route to work. I do a variation of the same thing at work then leave to grab the kids around the same time each day. Eat dinner. Relax a bit. Handle bedtime. Lay back down next to that perfect love of my life in that great house. Everyday.
It’s monotonous. It’s seemingly mundane. Plus, after watching the video, knowing how original I am, I should be fantastic, not just fine. Look, I’m not searching for huge life changes but life is worth more than just time passing us by.
So why I am not shouting from the rooftops:
My life is amazing! I have everything I ever dreamed!
My husband and I have hit a groove. A really, really great groove. We operate perfectly together. We know each other’s next move and instinct. But, in that, we also can operate like robots. With little kids in tow, we keep to a schedule, a routine to make sure everyone stays on track.
This robot-like life, as routine as it is, can be tiring and draining. Feeling the need to do soul-searching, has made me feel like I’m not operating like myself.
Essentially, my perfect life is making me feel imperfect.
So, the challenge is now on me. How do I activate my life? Kick start something inside of me that ignites that positive feeling again?
- Intellectually – I will pledge to fill my brain with podcasts, books (audibles even), and research that help my daily life in a real way. My brain is always ready to stay educated. Let’s be honest, I was a school nerd and I’m probably missing it a bit anyway.
- Spiritually – Church, prayer, meditation. Finding community in church has been something instilled through my upbringing. Community supports you when times are tough and celebrates your victories.
- Physically – Educating myself with the nutritional facts that I supply my body. Staying active with a manageable fitness routine but also through activities with my kids.
- Emotionally – Being true to myself. Allowing myself to admit I cannot do it all and sometimes I need a break. A break to breathe. Whether that means shopping on my own, lunch by myself, or just a walk around the block. Making sure my emotions are in check and not on the brink of meltdown is crucial.
Each of these things are fully obtainable and easily adjusted into my life. They are not major changes but subtle changes that could help to make a more positive, bigger change in me.